The Bully Project, is one that is very close to my heart. No one really knows about my past with bullying as I don't like to bring it up, but I feel that this is a good opportunity to let it out and Hanna Beth's bully story inspired me to write my own...It all started in my pre school. I had a lot of 'puppy fat' left over from when I was a baby, and it never seemed to go away, no matter how much excercise I did, and how little I ate. Back then I wasn't bothered, but then people started calling me names. This picture below, was when I first started the summer term in Year 5 (I think):
I lost a lot of friends then, but then I always seemed to gain others that liked me for who I was, although I never felt like I fitted in - I always argued and quarelled with friends and then they started hating me and blamed me for writing on walls and other things, which got me in a lot of trouble. It was like they didn't care, and I'd spend nearly every day crying my eyes out in the toilets at break and lunch times. Those days were the worst, but also the best days of my school life, because I made some amazing friends that I'm still in touch with now.
When I started Senior school, there were these two boys in my tutor that constantly called me fat and an emo. They sat behind me in class and constantly kicked my chair. This went on for around 2 years until I finally bucked up the courage to tell a teacher. She managed to deal with it straight away and the bullying stopped for around two years. Then in year 10, my best friend left my school. It made me feel horrible and like I'd lost the only friend I had at school. I turned to self harm, and crying again every day and night...It sounds so horrible, but I wanted to kill myself and just not be here anymore because I thought it would make things better. Later in the year, my mum got cancer, and it never really sunk in that she may die. But thank god she is now fine and doing amazingly well.
After all this had happened, I turned to being a bully myself because I just couldn't cope with everything and hated myself, and I wanted to make people feel bad for me. I bullied a girl out of my class and she left because I was so horrible. I feel awful for it now, and we're friends now.
I have now put this all behind me, and I feel like a new person. My friends are amazing, although I do still relapse. I know how it feels to be a victim of bullying, but also a bully.
I am thankful for my life, and right now, it couldn't be better.